tuesday

my day started with singing liz phair songs in the shower. i slept in my sisters 800 thread count sheets and woke up to meet my good friend kara. she is learning about acupuncture and chinese herbs and has a sweet little boy named emiliano. she looks great and i'm happy to hear that she is in a supportive relationship with a boy from guatamala. emiliano's smile was infectious and he loves trains and chocolate donuts. i fell in love after he stared at me with his big glassy brown eyes and said my name. me and kara had a short catch up lunch before i had to take the train to the city. i felt sleepy and cold and the wheels under the seat next to mine was making this rusty grating noise against the tracks. it was horrific and interesting at the same time. once downtown, i attended a chamber music event with my dad and sister. the musicians were a trio from vienna. wolfgang redik-violin, matthias gredler-cello, stefan mendl-piano...the event took place for a high society women's club. upon entering the caterers looked less than enthused to be carrying small silver trays with little petite toasts and caviar around to the twittering socialites. it was very proper and fancy and we were out of place...the youngest and most not white in the audience. the music was lovely however. the cello had the most fantastic ring and the violin was on loan from the austrian nat'l bank and is from 1772! it's funny to have contact with the classical music world and also with the contemporary electronic music scene. they seem to be getting to a place of convergence in my own mind anyways. i was sitting in the audience wondering if anyone around me was going to have a heart attack and fall out of their seat...no disrespect. spending time in downtown chicago is a rush. my eyes dart from person to person, window to window...sizing them up in a 3 second glance, everyone here wears black leather or wool coats and walks with determination...there are some totally ridiculous things being sold here. sticks shaped into pumpkin like wicker decorations from crate and barrel, the most ugly man sweater in the world probably a few hundred dollar worth of heinous. couples wearing matching designer winter scarves and coats walk together with very satisfied looks on their faces. parking for 5hrs is 23 dollars.

chicago!

arrived in chicago @ 2.52pm. on the plane behind me i heard the timeless conversation of colorado vs the midwest...the benefits of sunshine seems to be the winning point. i kept wondering...is that guy going to ask the girl for her information at the end of the flight? or just deplane with his briefcase....? i sit next to an older lady with lots of makeup who enjoys her cheez crackers out of her embroidered bag and sniffs while she flips through a hollywood tabloid, i see jennifer anniston out of the corner of my eye and am tempted to check out what she's wearing. after she was finished she kind of sighs and held the magazine in front of her staring at the back cover for another 30 seconds before putting it down. i had a clear glass bottle of mineral water i got at DIA and holding it up to the little window created these amazing pools of light around me. i napped for most of the flight...wrapped in a scarf, wool blanket and my jacket. still got a little ill from breathing the dry air. o'hare airport...the famous tunnel of lights with the mirrors on the ceiling that i recall since childhood. the sweet 80's fantasy music is no longer playing, but the prompt remains to watch your step as the "moving walkway is soon ending". i wait for my sister on a bench that seems to have been a public art for kids. there are some asian style flowers, russian rooftops and a japanese soldier holding a gun. the air is gray, the cops are blowing their whistles. my sister gets me and we go for some korean food, it's been since the last time that i had some. everything is spice city! i get a hott stone bowl full of rice, pickled vegges, hot chili sauce and accompanied by hot chili soup and small bowls of kimchee and jalapenos and fish. the only thing on the table that isn't spicy is the zucchini and cubed potatoes marinated in soy.

"on ne juge pas qui on aime"

today was again many things...i awoke to warm heat from the vents on my toes and a sweet greeting from a friend. going through mental preparation for the week i'll be away from my life here. so many things are radiant and being with my family has always brought new perspective, and heartache that i am living away from each of them. i love life and the people in mine. i feel so blessed and sometimes being human can be so beautiful.

saturday snowmelts...

today is full of so many wonderful things. new friends, old friends, good food, singing, mocha, cous cous, vegges, chocolate, embrace. julie got back from sailing with her mother in europe a few days ago and she shared with me beautiful visions. it brings back my own memories of visiting old churches in europe. than i met juliette, my friend from the library who has a daughter who names her dolls after me (sigh!!!)... and we share a glass of wine and catch up. a visit to my work for a piece of cake and cup of tea...and than to st elizabeth's cathedral on metro denver's campus for ars nova singers. voices in synch and harmonization. beautiful is the only way to describe such sound. being supported by others allows me to continue and allows me to support back.

DAVA and such...

the little dears at DAVA. i love when they call me miss and h dot. they are starting to warm up to me. some kids got their paychecks from the job training class. you can see that they are aware of the value of money. today two girls expressed the frustration and joys of having younger siblings. i'll miss the halloween party they drew flyers for today. tonight i went to the cafe and switched around the art show. i hope that julie and corey like it.

first snow.

cold day from the start. the snow begins to fall around 11am. the ride to work makes my nuckles cold, my glasses fogged, and kind of sad. don't feel 100% so i'll have to get rest to get through the next few weeks.

sunday afternoon walks...

the morning starts late. we clean the house from the mutable pj party last night. dark LED lit room with ambient music...projections downstairs from the film reels from montreal with experimental effects.
the air is warm and the light is soft. the leaves are so beautiful and fragile it makes my heart hurt.

friday the 13th

FRIDAY the 13th @ globeville studios. i help scott with an itchy-0 (http://www.itchyo.com) performance by accompanying the film reels, using my hand to adjust the light projected therefore affecting the % of crossover between the two images coming from the projectors. field recordings of animals bleating, flashing strobe, and a drumming procession which was dark and ritualistic. the images were of microscopic biological organisms cross faded with images of industry and old black and white cartoons. meshing moving illuminated images is where it's at...

DAVA

Fall Fest in Aurora. the kids and their families come and hang out play games...than we watched several of the digital stories that the jr high kids made. they were so real, frank and mature. a strong connection to the loss of a homeland where they feel they would have an opportunity to not be objectified in society, disrespected, disadvantaged. there is so much internal support from the kids to their younger siblings, taking a lot of responsibility from a young age.

bike on golden trails...

today i rode to aurora to work with the kids at DAVA. the fall warm weather was a blessing today. it rained leaves on golden trails and the sky was vast. i love riding my bike. finally a form of aquiring endorphines that i like!! tommorow will be family day and i will get to meet the parents of the kids which should be real interesting.

workday.

touched up on an old painting by printing with an apple and red paint. still in progress. it's like giving apple kisses. chilly day. work was fun. ate chocolate cake.

monday's cold rain

today is rainy and cold. the rain however, touches all the living things and gives them breath and brightness against the muted sky. i left the house for a walk around the neighborhood and the weather created a foreign backdrop to a familiar place. i have been playing with 16 film loops the past few days. a combination of markers, vermillion ink and a razor blade creates some interesting textures on top of negative film with faces of a woman and man talking...showing simple facial expressions at different speeds. it's like waking ghosts that have been dormant waiting for me to come.

it's raining leaves

plus gallery on monday night following the members preview at the DAM. exciting stuff!! worked with kids at DAVA today and will again tommorow alone.
getting access to film reels is becoming a possibiltiy and i feel lucky to know people that want to help me.